This weekend I said sent something terrible to someone. I didn't know that I personally sent it to them, but regardless it was insensitive, trashy, and inappropriate on every level. The person I messaged was rightfully offended by this remark and immediately went to twitter to expose the situation.
Another friend who was involved called me to inform me about what was going down. I checked facebook to find my friend messaging the victim "his version" of what had happened. I read some of his apology and some things had been embellished. Since we were both in flight mode, we resorted to facts trying to avoid the shame. I think I also tried to blame what I said on humor. There was nothing funny about what I said, and as a person whos passion is comedy, I am deeply ashamed that I used that as an excuse. My friend and I both made the situation worse by making each other look bad. I never denied the blame, but I didn't want to accept the shame.
I slept on the problem (or at least tried to) overnight and got the facts straight in my head:
I messaged a talented person a mean question about a tragedy regarding his father.
I was hanging out with friends and the mention to this tragedy had come up two different times in our conversations. My friend sent me the link to the victim's facebook, and I immediately assumed it was fake. Since my friend is notoriously famous for adding me to facebook conversations with fake celebrities, I added him and typed out something another friend had said. I didn't even know what I was referencing. Our friend hadn't worded a question about the victim in the best way, so we were laughing about it and that's what I typed. I sent it to the actual person.
(Even right now, I shouldn't be "stating the facts." I have no grounds to defend myself, but it does help me feel better to get this off my chest.)
That being said, I still said it to a real person. I didn't know it was a real person, but even if it was, it should have never been said in a joking context at all. The tragedy I referenced was terrible. I have now read about it and I feel sick knowing that I said something in very poor taste about it. I do not think it's funny to make light of any tragedy. I am definitely not that type of person. What I said was insensitive and was in no way a "joke" to anyone involved in the facebook chat.
I rewrote my apology and although it wasn't exactly perfect, the person I messaged graciously accepted it.
Apologies do not belong to you. They are shamefully admitting to your mistakes and showing non-selfish remorse. I am thankful my apology was accepted.
I also learned some valuable lessons in not only hurtful words and apologies, but what you choose to type and send on the Internet. The Internet can be a great tool to reach out to people and express yourself on, while also being an easy platform to make a fool out of yourself. Always be very self aware of what you choose to post or send. Additionally, never mistake being snide or disrespectful as being funny.
This experience felt horrible, and rightfully so. However, an apology is a graceful notion to move on. I will attempt to move on knowing that a real joke is something more than a thoughtless, mean, message.
Thank you for accepting my apology, Max.
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